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I’m cystic, baby.

22 Aug

The other major bit of news from my appointment was the results of my ultrasounds and bloodwork.  Despite an inconclusive ultrasound, my absent (going on 7 months, baby) periods, slightly-high hair growth and elevated testosterone are enough to diagnose me (more convincingly, this time) with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome.


So although my doc seemed in a real rush to get me out of her office so she could move on to the nice long queue of patients in the waiting room, she did actually provide me with way more information than I had gotten in my initial teenage-years visit to the walk-in clinic. That time around, I was basically told that my blood was normal but, um, well, you have PCOS anyway and you have to go on birth control and that will solve all your problems and make you menstruate liquid gold like clockwork each month.  Or something. Needless to say, this time around I was ready for some answers.

First off, apparently it is bad to not get periods. I always kindof sensed this, but didn’t really have any idea WHY. I figured it was not conducive to pregnancy because it indicated you probably weren’t ovulating, so that wasn’t good for those in the conception phase of life. But other than for fertility reasons, did it really matter? Apparently it does. Doc informed me that every month I go without menstruating is one more month that my uterine lining is building up, getting thicker and nastier. Gross. And that the more that happens, the greater the likelihood of developing endometrial cancer at a young age. Yuck. She said that most women who get endometrial cancer get it in the 40s; it tends to show up in PCOS-sufferers in their 30s.

Okay, so that sucks. Clearly I do not want CANCER. But how do I make Aunt Flow flow? She gave me two choices:

1) Birth control pills (surprise, surprise)

2) Progesterone pills (Provera… or whatever the generic name is)

I went with the latter. Although the Pill does provide some additional benefits that the progesterone does not (makes your boobs bigger, reduces acne & hair growth, conveniently balances out hormones that otherwise are going haywire 24/7… you get the drift), it also makes you infertile. And it also contaminates all those little fishies in the oceans that can’t have babies anymore because of all the weirdo hormones in the water system. Etcetera.

Anyway, after a heart-wrenching search all over town in an overly-emotional state, I finally got my greedy little hands on 1 cycle’s worth of the generic version of Provera. I have to take one tablet every day for a week and then I guess that tricks my body into believing it has ovulated and therefore needs to think about shedding that endometrium. Woo. Hoo. And after all the effort it took to secure the pills, I have already screwed up my dosage schedule by forgetting to take one last night and having to do it this morning instead. I’m hoping that doesn’t make the whole cycle for nothing. We’ll see. Either way, I basically need to force myself into a period once every three months, so I will likely end up doing a few more cycles of this while we sort out our fertility goals/situation.

But THAT, my friends, is a tale for another day.