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I’m off the charts.

26 Apr

And not in a good way!

Despite the super promising progress I’ve been making with treating my vestibulitis over the past couple of months, I have not at all been encouraged in the PCOS department.  My cycle has lasted over two months so far and I guess I’ve lost my motivation to keep charting.  It’s been a few days since I’ve recorded anything.  When I stopped taking birth control, I was so pumped about being off it, about figuring out my body.  Now I am ready to just start taking it again to make things simple.  I know this is not a very constructive attitude, but it is what it is.

I will not, however, start taking the Pill right away, as I have to get blood work and an ultrasound done before my next OBGYN appointment in June.  I need my system to be artificial-hormone-free to get proper results and confirm what exactly my ovaries are doing down there.

I’ve read on several blogs about people who start out doing treatment for their pelvic pain issues (vestibulitis, vulvodynia, vaginismus… pick your poison) but then get discouraged and give up.  I never understood that – I mean, I am committed to resolving my vestibulitis and have done, without fail, everything the doctor has ordered.  But now I think I get it.  Sometimes, when it seems like nothing is happening, when it seems like there is nothing you can do to really change the situation, it is just too tiring to keep thinking about it every day.  To keep pursuing something that you feel you will probably never have anyway.  In my case it’s a normally-fuctioning fertile body.  For some people it’s a healthy and pain-free sex life.  Maybe what I should be writing about is how I’ve realized the importance of sticking with a treatment and following it through… instead what I’m writing about is that I GET why you might not want to.  Because I’m with you there, me and my ovaries.


How to Be a Whiny Virgin [from your resident expert]

3 Mar

I have been in something of a funk lately.  Although I’ve been spending lots of super fun quality time with Spouse, my sex drive is kinda tanked these days, and I’m not sure what the deal is.  I really wish we could have intercourse!  I think I’m just feeling discouraged and getting tired of the “taking turns” love-making.  I feel like we’re missing out and it sucks.

I’m also kindof bummed because my temperature hasn’t shifted yet.  23 days into this cycle, and no ovulation.  My fertility isn’t my top priority right now, but it would help take the edge off the no-intercourse thing if I knew my cycle was on track.  Whatever.

In a few more weeks I’ll be back at the gyno’s office for a progress-check and hopefully some brand-spanking-new dilators… Is there any way to make that sexy?


Fertility Awareness Month… er, Method

25 Feb

As part of my ongoing quest to take control of my sexual health and figure out what the freak is going on (yes, I just typed “what the freak”… is that a problem?) in my body, I have started charting my cycles.  This is my first go at it, so I am still a little shaky on some bits (Cervical position?  Wha????  I’ve been feeling up there, but for real, it doesn’t seem to be moving around too much…), but overall it has actually been pretty fun to record things and see how my cycle is progressing.  Of course, the whole experience of noticing fertility signs is pretty novel for me, since I have been on the Pill so long and have therefore been totally not-fertile for years now.  So when my cervical fluid looks like it’s supposed to, I get all excited.  Woo!

For those who are unfamiliar with the practice of charting your cycles, here is a brief run-down.  You can use this method as a means of birth control or as an aid to conception.  In my case, I am not using it for either, since I am not having intercourse!  It is still awesome for actually figuring out what your body is doing and for pinpointing where any fertility issues may be coming from.  For example, it can help you figure out whether or not you are even ovulating, since some women get bleeding even if they never release an egg.  But I digress.  The basic practice of charting is to record your waking temperature (using a basal body thermometer), cervical fluid, and cervical position.  You can also keep track of things like stress, illness, exercise, etc., that may affect your cycle length.  By keeping track of your body’s symptoms, you can determine whether or not you are potentially fertile at any given time.  This lets you time intercourse for either avoiding or achieving conception.

For a very clear, very helpful description of this method, I would highly recommend checking out Taking Charge of Your Fertility (link to the right).  The book is affordable and a really good reference.  I understand my body’s processes so much better after having read it.  The website is great too, as it has useful forums and free pdf charts that you can print out and use yourself.  And no, this is not a sponsored post, and I don’t get any kick-backs if you buy the book after reading this!  In fact, I paid $0.50 for my copy at my friendly neighbourhood thrift store, because that’s how I roll.

Anyway.  Charting rocks my socks off so far.  It feels really good to finally have a clue when it comes to my cycle.  I don’t know if I will be able to stay off of birth control pills in the future, as that depends on how things play out with my PCOS, but I am really hoping that *when* I start having intercourse, I will be able to use this as my method of birth control.  And of course, if I have trouble conceiving in the future, knowing this method will cut out so many wasted months of not knowing what my body is doing and will help to time things out for maximum effectiveness.  Ha.

Moral of the story: Read the book and love your awesome body.