in which I insist that I am not a sexual deviant, honest

27 Sep

Okay, okay, I have not been a faithful blog-writer. I know. But I have been a very faithful physio-doer. If that is a thing. And if it is a thing then it describes me perfectly because I have been kicking this physio’s ass. Well, I’ve been kicking it’s ass 6 days a week when I do 30-40 minutes of daily exercises. It’s been kicking MY ass 1 day a week when I go in for my treatments. Because ouch. Let’s just say there is a whole lot of manhandling of things I did not think would ever be manhandled in such a way.

And the physiotherapist always tells me to pay attention and see if my vagina hurts afterward, but it never does. It always feels perfectly fine. My inner hips on the other hand? Super sore and achy, sometimes for DAYS. She releases them by applying (what feels like) large amounts of pressure on the muscles and apparently they don’t like that. I think I’m making progress though. I didn’t realize that my whole life I had had so much tension in my whole pelvic region. Now that I am learning to relax this area, I can really notice the difference between my tight moments and my relaxed moments. My medium-sized dilator is getting a bit small, I think, since it is really not providing much stretch, so it might be time to go back to the sparkly silver one (which is slightly larger). I think my internal muscles are loosening up quite a bit. At my last appointment she gave me a serious internal vag massage (seriously. never. thought. i. would. say. that.) and upped the ante to a 2-finger stroke. That was new. Anyway, I know this all sounds horribly weird and awkward but my physiotherapist is really great and somehow I don’t even think most of the time how totally bizarre it is that I am paying some woman enormous amounts of money to massage my genitals once a week.

Okay, let’s not talk about it anymore. I’m feeling like a weirdo.

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